ang labo..

ano ang napapatungo sa kinabukasan

sino ang mga taong sa tabi ko?

ano ang aking halaga sa buhay?

paano maiintindihan ang mga tanong sa buhay kung ako'y

mistulang nawawala sa kasagsagan

malabo ang aking ibig sabihin

ako lamang ang makakaintinidi

kahit ihip ng hangin at simoy ng unang buhos ng ulan sa himpapawid

ano ang dapat makamit?

parang halaman natuyot sa paglimot diligin

ang gulo! nagdadaanang sasakayan sa paligid

mistulang walang humpay ang daloy

ihahambing sa agos ng tubig at isang palito ng posporo

buhay ng tao ay madaling makitil

isang iglap lamang ang buong sangkatauhan

ay maglalahong parang lobo

kelan? saan? paano? bakit?

yan ang mga tanong mahirap sagutin

ano ang ating lugar sa mundo?

ano ang nakasaad sa palad ng isa't isa?

paano natin makakamit ang ligayang nag iintay?

kelan? saan? paano? at bakit?

inner demons

i just finished the book tuesday's with morrie which i started reading last night.

i know this some kinda old book and most of you i believed already read it. but i just wanted to ask if it strucked you deeply as i am right now? i felt distraught after reading it, i cred after. it's like the wieght of the world is on my shoulders.

i felt like all past trooubles/problems of my life slowly crept out of my mind and the book made me realize what i've been keeping all these years.

i picture my life as a angel, carrying the load of the world and never ceases to smile. my friends say that i should tell someone about this, but i know i can't, i fear rejection. no one will understand or should i say no one can understand the thoughts in my head, the feeling of pain that haunts me up to this day, the burden of knowing that i'm alone with my battles.

stop right there! don't ask me why not tell someone? why keep that inside? and this is my answer... once i tried opening up. i tried giving insights on what i was thinking and feeling but i was just shoved aside. my thoughts and feeling where crushed...

maybe i just spoke with the wrong person or the timing wasn't right but nevertheless because of that certain incident i'm now having a hard time opening up. i hide all dillemas at the back of my head and just put up a cheerful facade so that no one will ever notice.

the only true happiness i get is when i wake up in the morning seeing cheska(my daughter) getting ready to go to school and going back after a days work to the confines of a rented condo seeing her greeting me with a smack! that's life! and wonderful it is.

that is why people associate me as carefree, happy go lucky, prankster or joker sa you will. but none of those really describes me. when i'm alone(which seldom happens) i'm just quiet, thinking and sometimes mumble. i talk alone. i do monologues. am i crazy? am i loosing it? i hope not!

QUEUE! QUEUE! QUEUE!

WOW! my callmaster is flashing like christmas lights on a tree. this is one helluva night i never felt so tired with my work! ARGH!

poked in the eye

ever experienced being poked in the eye by a hanger? well i have and it's f@*#%ng painful. i keep watering my eyes with eyemo just to ease a little pain but it's not working. the sleeve on my shirt is now wet with the continuous wiping of tears from my eye.

Argggh! to some this might come as a laughing matter but to me it is no joke! sobrang sakit talga! pero come to think of it, nakakatawa nga.. ahihihihihi!

long wait is over

the long wait is over... i'm now a level2 technician here at MSN IATS VOICE!!! WOHOOOO!!

it's already my 2nd day and i feel like shit! i have this killer cold that i acquired last night. damn! my nose hurts but sleeping was a blast. i soon left the office after work and went straight home. just changed and immediately lied down. woooh! i had one good sleep, my daughter kept on kicking me but there is no way that she can wake me up ahahaha!

work is actually alright, we get QandA calls and some escalation calls but what i fear most right now is being stupid among the L2's. i kept asking the mainstay L2's about instructions about a certain step and what to do..i feel stupid!